Aside from sleeping, dreaming, and submerging myself to music, writing is one of my sweet and favourite escape. I love the fact that I am alone with my thoughts when I write. I am not actually at peace with myself when I do, but I get in touch with who I am and I think that is what’s important.
When I write, I pour out almost everything inside me. It’s like sharing my whole being to the world, especially because of the fact that I post them on blogging sites. I get to share my thoughts and feelings to everybody regardless of the fact that I dunno if somebody is listening or reading any of them. I feel free and liberated. And take note that I don’t always feel this way when I do other things. Writing gives me a sense of relief because whatever burden I carry is manifested on paper/virtually. I just let everything flow and then I become lighter. I make whatever that needs escaping fly out of my system.
I can’t say I am good at writing, even if I really want to believe that I am. I just love to write and express myself as subtle as I can. I don’t particularly have any writing style; I write out of consciousness. Maybe this is the reason why I believe I haven’t been possessed (haha!) yet by anything when I write. As if something’s taking over your body that you can’t actually say why you’re writing the things you write. That kind of stuff. I write what I think, what I feel. I control whatever goes out from my hands when I write or type the words. However, being taken over while writing is what I really want to experience. I am not saying another entity could take over your body literally okay. It will still be you. Only, your unconscious or subconscious mind’s working. Something like that. I want to be ultimately, insanely passionate about writing to the point that I wouldn’t have absolute control over what I write. Something like that. Argh. I'm struggling with myself here. See!
Writing is passion. And I really want to call myself a writer someday. I wanna own a book that I wrote myself. I want to be published. I hope that as soon as possible, I would be able to, but I can’t force myself especially when inspiration’s out of hand. I am not inspired; hence, I cannot start on a good storyline. And I am not sure you can look for inspiration. I believe it just naturally, unexpectedly comes to you. As of now, all I know what to write about is myself. And I am not really that interesting. Haha!
I want people to read me though, because that is when they would be able to understand. I know reading is not cool for most people nowadays but it is crucial to have knowledge about something... about someone... and over somebody.
To be able to write means having some sense of power.
A sense of power that no one can really take off you.
And I am into that power that I couldn’t stop. Really, could you?