Thursday, 1 July 2010

Bee Gun

I hate you. Not. Well, erase that. There are just some aspects of YOU that I don’t like. And I really hate that fact. It’s like I am being shallow or something because I can’t accept who you are. Although I’ve tried, really really hard, I just can’t swallow every inch of your whatever personality, and it is really wracking the nerve out of me. Like whatever. I know I am not supposed to feel this way towards you, especially because we are not supposed to feel this way towards each other but really, I am done. Ikaw na! Ikaw na maganda. Ikaw na magaling! Ikaw na sosyal. Ikaw na sikat! Fine, ikaw na lahat! Argh. I don’t intend to pour out all my bitterness or insecurities here alright, it’s just that I am so not over your pagkaFeelingera and it’s really purging the shit out of me. I don’t care if I am not making sense here anymore. Alright. Whatever. And don’t give me that face. Ever. That immature looking face that knows nothing but nothing. Darn it. And I think I am being immature here. But damn. You will always be immature in your entire life. So. Don’t. Ever. Talk to make about that childishness. I don’t wanna here any of it. Ever. I did my best to try to understand you. I just cannot. I thought I did, but I was wrong. I will never understand someone whose wavelength is not even close to mine. I am not imposing hierarchy, superiority or fuckenity, but really, you are not my equal. Well, we are equal, but we are just not in the same class. It’s like we’re in the same house but not in the same room. It’s kinda like that. Like, we have the same parents but you’re the black sheep. Or I am the black sheep. Whatever. Shoot. I can’t believe I am saying these things. Things that people should never hear from me. Damnit. See how much you’ve affected me? To think na we don’t even spend that much time with each other. Right. And I would never ever spend time, in the deepest sense of the word, with you again. Kahit inuman session – Oh wait. Of course that’s impossible. You will most of the time be where I am. Darn. Why did I ever get in touch with you? You’re not my kind of person. I hate this. I hate hating you. But I hate. Whatever. I don’t hate you. I hate who you’ve become. And I know you are more than that. Can you please do me a favour and remove this hate from me by not hating yourself?

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