Sunday, 1 August 2010


This isn't about me. I just made this :)



They said I could talk to her about anything. About anything. No matter how stupid, no matter how mundane. The said she would listen.

It was early afternoon in August when I decided to drop by her office to finally meet her. She was well known around the campus because of how she treats the student. It was her first year in the university yet many people already admire her. They said she doesn’t actually make appointments and that she is ready for consultation at any time of the day. I was hesitant to see her at first but then the thought that I couldn’t possibly tell anybody else about my problem prompted me.

I knocked softly at the door three times. Three. Because it is the usual number of knocks a normal, not in a rush person would make. They said when someone knocks at your door only twice, most probably it’s a ghost. That is why I always knock three times. So as not to confuse anybody.

There was no answer. I wasn’t actually expecting an answer since she must be sitting in front of her desk and I didn’t want her to be bothered and open the door for me. And if ever she told me to come in, I had no way of hearing behind the closed door. So I waited a few seconds before I opened the door.

They said she is always smiling and that she looks so approachable that I should be comfortable talking to her. I wondered what’s wrong. When I opened the door, she was looking straight at me with her dead eyes. Dead. Or was it deadly? Her eye shadow was so dark, her eye liner was jet black, and she had heavy mascara hanging on her eye lashes. She looked so pale that her eyes were the only things that seemed alive. Alive but dead at the same time. I concealed a frown. She didn’t say anything when she motioned for me to sit down. I did upon greeting her a nice afternoon.

I noticed that her office has a warm feeling in it. It had pastel pink curtains that scream off merriment. It reminded me of my grandmother’s flowers in summer. The cozy sofa was neon green with a yellow table in front of it that had a vase full of pink and white roses. The room felt so comforting and reassuring. However, after I wandered my eyes around the room and into her face that was full of gloom, it was as if everything turned black. I briefly smiled. She never returned the gesture.


I woke up light headed. Dizziness embraced me as soon as I opened my eyes. Could it be because of the booze I gobbled up last night? I am used to drinking though. Maybe I was drugged? Stupid friends. Stupid alcohol. Stupid boyfriend... I mean, ex-boyfriend. Stupid life.

So my boyfriend broke up –no, he dumped me—last night. On the phone. Son of a gun. How could he do that? Dumped me? On the phone?! I deserve something more decent, I believe. He should’ve waited until we meet. Dang. He said I was way above him. That he couldn’t reach me anymore. That while I am already on cloud nine, he’s still on the gutter, smoking his cheap cigarette. And that that is where he’ll always be. Stupid. He said he’s happy for what I’ve become and that he’s threatened of what he is not becoming. Those were his reasons for breaking up with me. Oh well, I suspect a third party.

The break up was the reason why my friends treated me like a princess last night. A gullible princess. Or should I say slave? Entertainer, maybe? They made me sing and dance. My goodness. But I enjoyed it. Everything felt so liberating. Even the break up. At least I am not tied to a jerk anymore. Stupid life. And love.

This morning I didn’t get up from the bed. I forced myself to fall from the bed. I literally kissed the ground. So as not to lose my ground. And I decided he was wrong. I could never be on cloud nine. Anyway, I soon as I had the strength to drag myself up from the floor, I made me some coffee then turned on the TV. Surprisingly, I wasn’t hungry. I turned to look at the clock and saw that it was already 10:45. Geez. So I wasn’t able to come to office by nine. Haha! Great. I promised myself I’ll be there by two o’clock in the afternoon.

The moment I sat down my office, the urge to go back home was so intense I was ready to fly. Damn it. I should have stayed at home and tried to mend my broken heart instead.

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