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Friday, 2 July 2010

Yearning And Learning

What I’ve learned from leaving and being left behind is that eventually, you’ll get used to being alone to the point that you’ll stop complaining. It’s not always that you have someone to talk to everyday. And by talk, I mean sharing your problems or any insights you’ve had during the whole day. You cannot always have someone beside you telling you you’ll be alright or all’s well that ends well. You can’t just demand someone to hug you when you’ve had a rough day. People should be able to feel the needs of each one and at least try something good to do about it. Utmost effort is not even required. A single smile can brighten up someone’s life even if it’s for a moment only. It can lift one’s mood or at best, change a person’s whole perspective.

I cannot entirely comprehend how we can or should get used to being alone. Why should we even try? Is it because it hurts when everybody starts to leave? Can’t we just cherish the moment while they were there? We just don’t deserve being alone. Even the most notorious criminal of all time in this whole universe shouldn’t suffer all his burden and verdict alone. He can still use some loving that another person aside from himself could and should provide. If we are meant to be singled out or outcasted, why are there other people? We might as well live in our own little worlds if we don’t need anybody. Literally. As in you’ll have your own planet and I’ll have mine. But will that be satisfying? Will you be happier or something?

What I’ve learned from leaving and being left behind is that the painful way of detaching will always haunt you. What will always stay in our minds is that you just can’t be with the people you love most of the time, or more than the circumstances allow. You’ll be forced to accept that everything just changes and that you can’t do anything to interfere or alter their course. Even if you try avoiding it, you can’t escape for so long, and you will never win because eventually, you have to give in, go with the flow and totally embrace everything that is in front of you. Deal with it with all your flesh and blood. That is the only thing that’s left for you to do. Everything is in flux so you might as well move that big fat ass of yours too. You can’t just watch the world turn around and flash before your eyes. You have to be in sync with it to be able to survive. I won’t and can’t always be with the people who forever changed my life because that is just how it is and I cannot really do any damage about that fact. It will stay that way, forever. I don’t own them and they also have a life to live.

It is crazy how your whole world functions for a certain person while you are just a dust compared to their other big dreams. It’s even crazier how you can say you cannot live without them while they are already living their lives without you in the company of other people and new faces. So what you should be doing is to try to coexist with other people as well. They might be insignificant at the moment, but who knows what kind of impact they’ll make in your life. The people whom you used to be with will always stay in your heart and in your memory. Seeing them in the future under various conditions will be a bonus. Really. Then you will be able to relive happy times with them. They don’t really go away and you do not exactly leave them. They will stay with you. Always.

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