Because I know I won’t be able to start working on the FMA unless I’ve cleared my mind of stupid thoughts that are driving me fukken insane. Stupid Thoughts.
Today I learned to go to SM Fairview all by myself. Haha, poser. Ok, not all by myself. I asked for some help/directions/guide or something. Whatever. I met there my ex-housemate, which was not really a housemate. Nakituloy lang ng isang buwan? Bumisita ng isang buwan kaya tinuring na naming housemate? O feeling housemate namin? Hehe. (Peace tayo, Ate April Ü) So. We decided to meet after five to six months na? I can barely remember. Basta after a really long time. Tas nung nagkta na kami, parang magkasama lang kami khapon. Haha. Of course we exchanged some I-miss-you’s and hugs, but after nun, ayun. Parang magkasama nga lang kami kahapon :) Ain’t that cool? Oh well, fcourse I’m cool. We made some catching up and then told each other some interesting experiences and happenings. I told her my dilemma. Which isn’t really a dilemma. Loljk. Idk. So after sharing, I felt like crying. Because I’m so stupid. And I don’t really feel well. And I don’t really know what to feel. What to say. Or what to do. Because I’m stupid. And all that’s getting out of my mind is crap. Dammit. I can’t say she cleared my mind about what I should do about this problem kasi until now hindi ko parin alam gagawin eh. O pati yung mararamdaman ko. Parang tanga lang. And whatever happened to me today made every dumb-ass thing about this stupid thing official. It ain’t even a thing. Crap. Labo nuh. Para hindi mo maintindihan. Hehe. So ayun. At least may nasabihan ako. Parang gago lng. Gosh, puro cuss words na tong entry na to. Fail. Hindi ko na talaga alam gagawin. Badtrip. Nagkita nga kami ulit nung dati kong “housemate” (hehe), puro kaEmohan lng naman lumabas sa bibig ko. Tama na nga.
But I’m really happy to see you again, Ate April :D I told you we should do this every weekend. Haha. Mwah! And hopefully, wala na kong problema sa…
Remember that moment when I told you I wouldn’t say anything? I badly wanted to say yes. I just haven’t evaluated the consequences of telling the truth at that moment, that’s why I just said I couldn’t tell you anything yet. Haha. Gosh. But now, thinking it over, I wish I just told you the truth. ‘Cause it’s piercing every part of me now. Idk if telling you would lessen this insanity, but at least you knew. Right? But I don’t think you can help me, though. Idk. I just need to talk to you again. Soon. So that I could be freed from this burden? And. Well, I need an advice :D Idk. Ask me again? Haha. Sonuvagun.
I feel so sad today, okay?