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Saturday, 4 September 2010

Love Letter To Self

So. I promised a few people I would update this page now. Damnit. I hate making promises. Kidding Ü So. I really don’t know what to write about. I don’t have anything. Anything. Anything. Ok. Just anything.

Before I went to sleep at around five thirty this afternoon, I remembered a.. uhm.. a friend back in high school. Oh. Wait. I dunno if she is a friend. But I think she was. Oh, well. Life. I remembered her telling me and another classmate that she got some love letters from a secret admirer. WHAT. She’s not really blessed in the looks and personality department so I think I could say that there was no way she would be able to get some letters especially from a secret admirer. Take my word on that. So. After showing us three or four letters from her so-called secret admirer, we found out (I forgot how we did) that she was just making everything up. The letters were from herself. She made herself a love letter. Cool. Woooow. I can’t understand how a person can do that. I mean. Send yourself love letters and then tell your “friends” it was from someone else. Why? To get some attention? To emphasize how likeable you are? (She wasn’t the least bit admirable, okay.) I dunno. I wasn’t able to understand her then. And I don’t think I even care now.

That was when I came up with a plan. Haha. I’m not sure why I did what I did. All I know was that it was fun doing it, fooling her. So mean >.< What I did was this. I made an elaborate love letter one night. I wish you could imagine how sweet and romantic I am so that you could envisage how great that love letter was. HAHAHA. Written there was something every girl would want to hear from an admirer. Really. The next day, during one of our breaks, I put the love letter inside her bag. I was so wary when I was doing that. Someone might see me and think that I was stealing something, you know. I didn’t want anybody to get the wrong idea although I know that what I was doing was entirely wrong. But, whatever. So when we met the following day, she showed us the letter that I made! Hahaha. Imagine how proud I was when she showed it. I mean, I made that! Hehe.

Anyway. I just wanted her to stop making stories, stop making issues about herself, and stop pretending she had an admirer. I just wanted her to stop fooling herself. I was just sort of getting her out of that make-believe situation she made for herself. I wanted her to stop fooling herself, so I fooled her instead. Wow. There’s some logic in that, btw Ü At least she was able to stop pretending that someone liked her, and believe that someone really does because she had something that she didn’t make for herself. Gets? Only it was a joke as well. Hell. She doesn’t know that truth anyway. She never will. (Unless she read this page) Ü Hehe.

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Shy? No, I’m not. Not really. It’s just that in certain situations, I really dunno what to say so I just stay quiet and eventually get lost inside my own head. It doesn’t mean I’m bored and that I’d rather be somewhere else. I just think that I don’t really need to say something sometimes. And it doesn’t mean I’m not interested. I just don’t know what to say. It’s just me. It’s just my face. Haha. Sometimes I am comfortable just being with other people, especially those who are close to my heart that I don’t think I really have to say anything at all. At least not at all times, right? Their company is enough to make me feel happy and contented. So if ever you’re with me and I am not talking, it wouldn’t necessarily mean I don’t like you. I just don’t like talking much. Sometimes.

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