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Thursday, 24 March 2011

Then And Now

LEA (January 21 2009)

I love chocolates. A bar could lift up my spirits whenever I’m down.

I know people don’t take me seriously most of the time. Yet I trust them easily. Someone told me I have trust issues, though. Ano ba naman yan.

My patience is kinda mahaba. That’s why people find it quite comfortable to pick on me.

As I come of age, I feel less. LESS. I can’t feel much anymore. Parang wala na ko mashadong pakialam sa mundo at sa mga bagay bagay. Guess I have my own world.

“Yeah, you bleed just to know you’re alive.”

I like physical pain than emotional pain. Who doesn’t? Ugh.

Bakit may mga taong sensitive pero insensitive sa feelings ng iba?
How enough is “ENOUGH?” How will you know when to stop?
When should we take things seriously?
Why does the sun keep on shining? (Lol.)
Why does it hurt?
Why am I so fucking emotional?
Nauubos ba ang luha?

I don’t really like being under the spotlight.

****

LEA (March 24 2011)

Then, it was “okay” lang.
But now that I know more, I guess if it happened now, I wouldn’t allow it.

I know it’s from the past na. And people do change.

My stupid self is stupid. I dislike conflicts. I tend to escape from it.
I know I’m very hard to deal with. I can’t even deal with myself sometimes.

I think friends are precious. That’s why I keep as many as possible.
I dunno if that's a good thing. Minsan ang hirap din kasi pag maraming kaibigan. Naiipit tuloy ako minsan. Haha. But I really value favours. I like giving favors, actually. The more people who asks, the more you can possibly get when the time comes that you’ll be needing them.

I love myself. I like looking at myself in the mirror.
Though I know I’m actually faaaar from being perfect, I still love who I am. Flaws and all.

Career Vs Love?
Uhm. I can’t lose my lovelife for a career. And I don’t want a career without the love of my life beside me. But I need to think about my career already. Or I need a job, at least. Ugh. I kinda hate this life.

I’m so tired. Can I give up now?
Oh, I remember the time when I used to say that a lot. I really hope it’ll never come again.

****

UHM. I guess that’s it muna for the THEN and NOW.

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