I’m not being dramatic again; I’m merely sharing a story.
he hugged her. said he was just checking if she were okay. said I love you, without her actually feeling it. then left.
she was facing the other side of her world. holding back her tears, trying so hard to be in control.
deep inside she was desperately hoping he'd come back.
she badly needed a hug. a hug that should specifically come only from him.
praying, hoping... waiting... needing... desperately wanting that to happen... without any luck.
after a few moments of trying to be in control, the wall that she built around her finally collapsed.
it gave way to succeeding hysterical sobs that left her hopeless. helpless...
out of control. confused. troubled. in a state of panic. anxious. lost.
she watched him longingly as he continued on his path.
wondered if he was crying like she was. she sincerely wished he wasn't.
he didn't even dare to look back. or did she just missed that?
with trembling hands, heavy chest, and non-stop, overflowing teardrops,
she managed to lift her head up above the heavens for inspiration.
to any possible temporary replacement for the inspiration that just left on a bus on the way to 45.
they couldn't stop hurting each other. why? she wondered why...
she stayed on the bench. desperately in need of company.
she decided that anyone who was willing to sit beside her would receive the honor of listening to all her tribulations and heartaches.
well, no one dared. someone passed by and looked her in the eyes.
the passer-by absorbed all the mess that defined her at the moment while she just shook it with a laugh.
another series of glances headed on her way but she didn't move a muscle.
she didn't care. why would she? did they care?
she needed that shamelessness. she couldn't stop crying, heavily.
she knew it was pathetic. it was beyond all modesty. it was a public place, after all. but who cares?
it was never shameful to cry for the one you love.
it was never shameful to cry because of the one you love.
"Emotions are like wild horses." she had to set them free.
or else they'd take control of her whole life. would drag her deeper into insanity.
she wouldn't be able to endure too much suffering anymore.
it did happen. he left her there. alone.
all by herself, in a world full of uncertainty and lost dreams and wandering souls.
she waited for a long moment that never seem to end...
then she stood up from all her hopelessness.
walked her way to the store and purchased her favorite softdrink, wished she was having it hard.
she'd want to eventually throw up every painful thing inside. figuratively.
she took the long walk home to dry her tears and let her eyes recuperate.
she went straight to the fridge,
took something she put there earlier, grabbed a fork,
then headed straight to her bedroom.
she swallowed what he gave her. she almost always does.
it was such a piece of cake.