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Sunday, 31 July 2011

Am I into deep? Have I lost my mind?

You were having lunch while I just sat there looking at your face. I pondered about the softness of your skin and the hardness of your perfectly chiselled jaw. I couldn’t believe I’m with you right now. You could be with any girl in town but you still chose to be with me... I felt the strong need to plant kisses on your face. If only we weren’t somewhere public, I would have touched your face, made you face me, looked deeply into your eyes, and caressed your lips with mine. I didn’t do anything, though. I just sat there looking at you… Feeling kinda tired but not really. I was adoring every inch of you face, loving every handsome feature.

After a few minutes of being lost inside my head, you pulled me back to the moment. You asked me what was wrong. I said nothing and kind of looked at myself in the mirror. I surveyed the room and told myself that you were the best-looking boy in the room; you in your sexy black shirt. And I was just the lucky girl.

I love you, Ken.

****

When I get upset, I shut down. I feel like I should be crying or screaming or something. But I can't. Because I'm turned off. I go silent and don't talk very much. I just sit there. And think.

Pass My Shotgun

PMS:

Psychotic Mood Shift
Plainly Men Suck
People Make Me Sick
Provide Me with Sweets
Pardon My Sobbing
Pimples May Surface

****

I was having some sort of shitty days lately because of the goddamn PMS. I wouldn’t want to blame my hormonal shit but, really, it’s the reason why I feel unpredictably annoying (even to myself, yeah). I am no master of my emotions and am not proud about that. But no matter how hard I try to control them, I never win. I just have to let them all out just like what my favourite author Paulo Coelho said; Emotions are like wild horses, set them free. I’m still trying to figure out if that’s good, though.

Anyway. Yeah, I know I’m PMS-ing when I’m PMS-ing. I feel easily irritated, moody, intensely emotional, etc… I feel stupid. I hate myself. I hate everyone around me. Though I know that all those feelings are because of the hormonal changes inside my body, and that I shouldn’t let them affect me, I just feel helpless. I can’t do anything but just go with the flow and let those fucked up emotions take over. Sucks. But there’s nothing I can do about that. I can’t pretend something I don’t feel. I’m not plastic. Hrhr.

Some people might not be able to understand. The boyfriend actually told me once that I couldn’t just blame hormones or some other chemicals in my body ‘cause it’s me, simply ME. Like I could control what to feel, choose not to be angry, twist up a frown, blah, blah… Well. I can’t. No matter how hard I try, I just can’t do it.

Idk about you ah, but this is really me, having monthly PMS (Premenstrual Syndrome).

****

PMS:

Psychotic Mood Shift
Plainly Men Suck
People Make Me Sick
Provide Me with Sweets
Pardon My Sobbing
Pimples May Surface

Wednesday, 27 July 2011

Damn Palahniuk

Just few minutes ago, I decided to join Chuck Palahniuk’s website widely known as The Cult. I’ve been visiting this site since I started reading his works and became a fan but the reason why I just joined the site is still kinda vague… Nah. It’s actually because I didn’t know I could join the community. Haha! Yeah, that’s why.

The boyfriend told me the other day that Palahniuk has a new book but forgot what title. I was just browsing my Tumblr dashboard earlier and found it there, right in from of my eyes. So the book’s called Damned and I’ve read that it’s about an eleven-year-old girl who ended up in hell due to an MJ overdose. I want to read the book ‘cause it’s written by Chuck Palahniuk and I’m kinda interested how the story in hell will unfold.



But to be honest, I’m not sure if I’d like this upcoming book because the main character’s only 11. And I have a thing with age. Haha.

****

I’ve been reading Pygmy since May (?) and I haven’t finished it until now. Why? Well, it’s about a 13-year-old Chinese boy who went to United Sites as an exchange student to infiltrate American households and I just can’t relate to what he was doing. I’m not saying I felt some deep connection with the other Palahniuk main characters that I got to know, but I just like them more than I like Pygmy (not that we’re close). Heehee. For me, Pygmy is just not a page-turner. Plus the English is so barok so I’m having a hard time literally reading it. I swear I’ll finish that book, though.

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Damned is set to be released on October 18 this year.

So Damned is about an eleven-year old girl who wakes up basically and finds that she is in hell and that she's dead, and that she's going to be eleven-years old and dead in hell for the rest of eternity. So she has to, number one, make friends and figure out how hell works and make the best of it. But she's also got to figure out why she's in hell and how she died, and then ultimately whether or not she wants to petition to go to heaven, to try and uncover some mistake that might have been made. So it's about an eleven-year old, a very optimistic, cheerful, pushy little girl who finds herself in hell.
-- Chuck Palahniuk


And this book is automatically added to my book list. So many books to read, so little time... *sigh*

Tuesday, 26 July 2011

15 Styles of Distorted Thinking

via EWU Access

1. Filtering

You take the negative details and magnify them, while filtering out all positive aspects of a situation. A single detail may be picked out, and the whole event becomes colored by this detail. When you pull negative things out of context, isolated from all the good experiences around you, you make them larger and more awful than they really are.

2. Polarized Thinking

The hallmark of this distortion is an insistence on dichotomous choices. Things are black or white, good or bad. You tend to perceive everything at the extremes, with very little room for a middle ground. The greatest danger in polarized thinking is its impact on how you judge yourself. For example-You have to be perfect or you're a failure.

3. Overgeneralization

You come to a general conclusion based on a single incident or piece of evidence. If something bad happens once, you expect it to happen over and over again. 'Always' and 'never' are cues that this style of thinking is being utilized. This distortion can lead to a restricted life, as you avoid future failures based on the single incident or event.

4. Mind Reading

Without their saying so, you know what people are feeling and why they act the way they do. In particular, you are able to divine how people are feeling toward you. Mind reading depends on a process called projection. You imagine that people feel the same way you do and react to things the same way you do. Therefore, you don't watch or listen carefully enough to notice that they are actually different. Mind readers jump to conclusions that are true for them, without checking whether they are true for the other person.

5. Catastrophizing

You expect disaster. You notice or hear about a problem and start "what if's." What if that happens to me? What if tragedy strikes? There are no limits to a really fertile catastrophic imagination. An underlying catalyst for this style of thinking is that you do not trust in yourself and your capacity to adapt to change.

6. Personalization

This is the tendency to relate everything around you to yourself. For example, thinking that everything people do or say is some kind of reaction to you. You also compare yourself to others, trying to determine who's smarter, better looking, etc. The underlying assumption is that your worth is in question. You are therefore continually forced to test your value as a person by measuring yourself against others. If you come out better, you get a moment's relief. If you come up short, you feel diminished. The basic thinking error is that you interpret each experience, each conversation, each look as a clue to your worth and value.

7. Control Fallacies

There are two ways you can distort your sense of power and control. If you feel externally controlled, you see yourself as helpless, a victim of fate. The fallacy of internal control has you responsible for the pain and happiness of everyone around you. Feeling externally controlled keeps you stuck. You don't believe you can really affect the basic shape of your life, let alone make any difference in the world. The truth of the matter is that we are constantly making decisions, and that every decision affects our lives. On the other hand, the fallacy of internal control leaves you exhausted as you attempt to fill the needs of everyone around you, and feel responsible in doing so (and guilty when you cannot).

8. Fallacy of Fairness

You feel resentful because you think you know what's fair, but other people won't agree with you. Fairness is so conveniently defined, so temptingly self-serving, that each person gets locked into his or her own point of view. It is tempting to make assumptions about how things would change if people were only fair or really valued you. But the other person hardly ever sees it that way, and you end up causing yourself a lot of pain and an ever-growing resentment.

9. Blaming

You hold other people responsible for your pain, or take the other tack and blame yourself for every problem. Blaming often involves making someone else responsible for choices and decisions that are actually our own responsibility. In blame systems, you deny your right (and responsibility) to assert your needs, say no, or go elsewhere for what you want.

10. Shoulds

You have a list of ironclad rules about how you and other people should act. People who break the rules anger you, and you feel guilty if you violate the rules. The rules are right and indisputable and, as a result, you are often in the position of judging and finding fault (in yourself and in others). Cue words indicating the presence of this distortion are should, ought, and must.

11. Emotional Reasoning

You believe that what you feel must be true-automatically. If you feel stupid or boring, then you must be stupid and boring. If you feel guilty, then you must have done something wrong. The problem with emotional reasoning is that our emotions interact and correlate with our thinking process. Therefore, if you have distorted thoughts and beliefs, your emotions will reflect these distortions.

12. Fallacy of Change

You expect that other people will change to suit you if you just pressure or cajole them enough. You need to change people because your hopes for happiness seem to depend entirely on them. The truth is the only person you can really control or have much hope of changing is yourself. The underlying assumption of this thinking style is that your happiness depends on the actions of others. Your happiness actually depends on the thousands of large and small choices you make in your life.

13. Global Labeling

You generalize one or two qualities (in yourself or others) into a negative global judgment. Global labeling ignores all contrary evidence, creating a view of the world that can be stereotyped and one-dimensional. Labeling yourself can have a negative and insidious impact upon your self-esteem; while labeling others can lead to snap-judgments, relationship problems, and prejudice.

14. Being Right

You feel continually on trial to prove that your opinions and actions are correct. Being wrong is unthinkable and you will go to any length to demonstrate your rightness. Having to be 'right' often makes you hard of hearing. You aren't interested in the possible veracity of a differing opinion, only in defending your own. Being right becomes more important than an honest and caring relationship.

15. Heaven's Reward Fallacy

You expect all your sacrifice and self-denial to pay off, as if there were someone keeping score. You fell bitter when the reward doesn't come as expected. The problem is that while you are always doing the 'right thing,' if your heart really isn't in it, you are physically and emotionally depleting yourself.


( FromThoughts & Feelings by McKay, Davis, & Fanning. New Harbinger, 1981. These styles of thinking (or cognitive distortions) were gleaned from the work of several authors, including Albert Ellis, Aaron Beck, and David Burns, among others.)


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I've always known I have a thinking problem. Tsk. Tsk.

Sunday, 24 July 2011

DATE A GIRL WHO READS

This just gotta be on my blog.



DATE A GIRL WHO READS
by Rosemarie Urquico
(In response to Charles Warnke’s You Should Date an Illiterate Girl)


Date a girl who reads. Date a girl who spends her money on books instead of clothes. She has problems with closet space because she has too many books. Date a girl who has a list of books she wants to read, who has had a library card since she was twelve.

Find a girl who reads. You’ll know that she does because she will always have an unread book in her bag. She’s the one lovingly looking over the shelves in the bookstore, the one who quietly cries out when she finds the book she wants. You see the weird chick sniffing the pages of an old book in a second hand book shop? That’s the reader. They can never resist smelling the pages, especially when they are yellow.

She’s the girl reading while waiting in that coffee shop down the street. If you take a peek at her mug, the non-dairy creamer is floating on top because she’s kind of engrossed already. Lost in a world of the author’s making. Sit down. She might give you a glare, as most girls who read do not like to be interrupted. Ask her if she likes the book.

Buy her another cup of coffee.

Let her know what you really think of Murakami. See if she got through the first chapter of Fellowship. Understand that if she says she understood James Joyce’s Ulysses she’s just saying that to sound intelligent. Ask her if she loves Alice or she would like to be Alice.

It’s easy to date a girl who reads. Give her books for her birthday, for Christmas and for anniversaries. Give her the gift of words, in poetry, in song. Give her Neruda, Pound, Sexton, Cummings. Let her know that you understand that words are love. Understand that she knows the difference between books and reality but by god, she’s going to try to make her life a little like her favorite book. It will never be your fault if she does.

She has to give it a shot somehow.

Lie to her. If she understands syntax, she will understand your need to lie. Behind words are other things: motivation, value, nuance, dialogue. It will not be the end of the world.

Fail her. Because a girl who reads knows that failure always leads up to the climax. Because girls who understand that all things will come to end. That you can always write a sequel. That you can begin again and again and still be the hero. That life is meant to have a villain or two.

Why be frightened of everything that you are not? Girls who read understand that people, like characters, develop. Except in the Twilight series.

If you find a girl who reads, keep her close. When you find her up at 2 AM clutching a book to her chest and weeping, make her a cup of tea and hold her. You may lose her for a couple of hours but she will always come back to you. She’ll talk as if the characters in the book are real, because for a while, they always are.

You will propose on a hot air balloon. Or during a rock concert. Or very casually next time she’s sick. Over Skype.

You will smile so hard you will wonder why your heart hasn’t burst and bled out all over your chest yet. You will write the story of your lives, have kids with strange names and even stranger tastes. She will introduce your children to the Cat in the Hat, Harry and Aslan, maybe in the same day. You will walk the winters of your old age together and she will recite Keats under her breath while you shake the snow off your boots.

Date a girl who reads because you deserve it. You deserve a girl who can give you the most colorful life imaginable. If you can only give her monotony, and stale hours and half-baked proposals, then you’re better off alone. If you want the world and the worlds beyond it, date a girl who reads.

Or better yet, date a girl who writes.

Can Look, Can’t Touch

Last night, the boyfriend and I were kinda arguing about looking, observing, ogling over some random person we see on the road. Uhm… Okay, I must admit he caught me staring at least twice already. And I can’t deny that I do stare… Sometimes. Heehee. I can’t help it. I usually stare at anybody, god/goddess-like and even at grotesque human beings. It just so happened that when he caught me staring, my eyes were on someone drool-worthy. Oh God. Fine, I’m exaggerating.

When he’s accusing me of staring at someone, I defend myself by saying that it’s okay, no harm done. He’s still (and will always be) the person I love. True fact. I sometimes use excuses like; I’m just looking at his cool shirt/piercings/tattoos, blah, blah, blah. And in reality, I really am just looking at those things. It just happened that the owner of these things is handsome. Hihi. He uses those excuses, too.

So… There. I don’t deny staring... But he does. I might be wrong, okay. He tells me that he’s not checking out the hot girls on the parking lot, he was just wondering why they were running or something. And that no, he’s not looking at the girl-on-the-jeep’s flawless legs, he was looking at her necklace. But since when were necklaces worn around the thighs? Weird. Right.

I know that I can’t be a hundred percent sure that he was staring since he won’t admit it. But why would he? I’m totally lost here. My mind doesn’t want to clear destructive thoughts that lurk. All I’m saying is that it’s okay to stare. I won’t die if he did. It might make me a little insecure but I’m still the one he would be kissing later, right?

Personally… I would never be able to defend myself as to why I look at other people. Because it might also seem like I was looking at them but in my head, I am not looking, like, looking at them. And I am not and will never be fantasizing about them, alright. My eyes might be on them but my mind’s not. Like when you’re “nakatulala,” you’re just absent-mindedly staring into space. I might be looking but whose waist were my arms wrapped around, anyway?

I am so full of contradictions. I don’t even understand myself.
And I dunno how to conclude this post. We would forever be arguing about this issue, I’m sure.


(I kinda feel like I shouldn't have posted this...)

0724 Blah

Hi. So. Uhm. I kinda feel like I should update the blog na. But I dunno where to start. I guess I’ll just go on blabbing about anything until I produce a decent enough note to post… Hay. I am losing a lot of brain cells each day.

****

During the previous week, I’ve been looking for and applying in a lot of jobs that I find online. And so far… Well… I haven’t received any feedback from them yet. I want to have a regular or part-time job already. I need to earn na. I figured I am not sure yet when I’d graduate, so I think it’s better if I were earning some money already. So. Ayun.

If you know any part-time job somewhere in my area, please contact me :(

****

In other news… I’ve been spending a lot of time with the boyfriend, yes… Pero it kinda feels like kulang pa rin. We do a lot of talking, cooking, eating, walking, cuddling, and other intimate things together… ;) But they’re still not enough. I just wanna be with him 24/7. Yeah, I just can’t get enough. Do we really have all the time in the world? If so, why do we feel like there are so many things to do but time’s just not really enough? I really don’t know how to prioritize.

My siblings and I were watching The Good Guy on HBO the other day and the leading man said something like, Love is the only important thing in the world and that everything else is just a distraction. Some people would tell us that Love is THE distraction. Having crushes and going gaga over somebody to the point of forgetting to study are what seems to be distractions that divert our attention from the important things. But really, we have different priorities and only we, our inner selves, could tell us which is a distraction or not.

I can’t agree with the movie yet; that everything else is just a distraction, but Love… But I do believe that to be able to survive the pressures that come with life, we should always be accompanied by Love. How would be able to survive without it? Love surely makes the ride worthwhile.

****

So. I have two pregnant cousins as of the moment. And they are in different situations. Cousin 1 seems okay with everything, but cousin 2 is sort of having a hard time dealing with it. A number of family issues are involved and not everyone has already come to terms with the fact that cousin 2’s pregnant. Sad… I am more compassionate with cousin 2 ever since. Heehee. They are both my junior. I have mixed feelings about this pregnancy thing. Really. I don’t even know how to talk about this coherently. So…

I bet my parents are thankful that I haven’t jumped into the bandwagon yet. And I don’t want to, okay?!
I sincerely wish and told her already that everything will be okay… That’s what we’re all praying for.

****

Uhm. That’s it for now, earthlings… :* :*

Tuesday, 19 July 2011

In Watchlist

HNNG! Movies I can't wait to watch:













And of course Snow White and the Huntsman, starring Kristen Stewart, which will be released next year. Ugh. Can't wait!

Sunday, 17 July 2011

2011 Book List



Because I can't last a week without having to read any novel or short story, at least, here are the books that I would want to read for the year 2011. So, please help me, God. It's either I buy them all or look for a friend who has any of these and then borrow. Pssshh. The bookworm self of mine is one of the reasons why I need to have a job already. Sucks. We really need to work for the things that make us happy.

1. A Song of Ice and Fire

---- I am currently addicted to the HBO series Game of Thrones that is based on these novels. I just can't sit here and wait for the release of Season 2 on 2012, so I feel the need to read the books already. I love the characters so much; I had a quick connection with them after watching the first season. And I am more than willing to explore more of their personalities by grabbing a copy of these books. George RR Martin seems like a bad-ass.



2. Millennium Series

---- I’ve read the issue about Stieg Larsson’s death in a newspaper and started to be so interested about his life and his trilogy. I heard that it had good reviews so I tried reading the first novel The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo last year. I kinda complained that it was so long but I did enjoy reading that book later on. It was overflowing with complicated concepts that I didn’t really understand at first, but I finally got a grip on them. Whew. I even thought that the book isn’t for me. But the next thing I know, I couldn’t get enough of it. I even downloaded from the net the movie adaptation starring Noomi Rapace. I would have read the 2nd book immediately but can’t get a copy of it yet due to lack of money. Heehee.



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I have a long list pa.. :( But. Well, that's it for now, right. I can't wish for more books to read right now unless I start grabbing a copy of the titles above first. Books by Chuck Palahniuk and Haruki Murakami will always be in my mind, though. They are my favorite authors, along with Paulo Coelho and Neil Gaiman. I should read ALL of their books before I die. I swear.



BOOKS I'VE READ: Snuff. Rant. Surivor. Lullaby. Pygmy.



BOOKS I'VE READ: Kafka On The Shore. Norwegian Wood. After Dark. Blind Wilow Sleeping Woman.



BOOKS I'VE READ: ALL including Like The Flowing River which is not on the image above.



BOOKS I'VE READ: ALL except M Is For Magic, Neverwhere, and Stardust.

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So. Friends, lovers, readers, I assume you already know what to give me as presents, yes? :D
I do not claim the photos above :* :*

Friday, 15 July 2011

The Nail Biter



This photo reminded me of the love of my life, Ken. He has this nail-biting habit. And it really annoys me sometimes. It's kinda disturbing. So whenever he does this, I always pull his hand away from his mouth. I just don't like the sight. It's like he's being nervous about something I have no idea what about. It bothers me.

I would've posted this on his Facebook wall, but he deactivated his account yesterday and I'm not sure why.


(Image from This Site)

Losing Your Identity When In Love?

(This is a re-post from THIS SITE)

... Life is just wonderful and both of you are having the time of your life. Days pass and things settle into a routine. You admire him and he admires you, both of you want to please each other. It has been a harmonious relationship because you adjust with him and like him for what he is. Sometimes this is where things start to break up...

... Love is always considered as a mutual relationship of caring, mutual respect for each other and thus sacrifice and compromise to make each other happy and contended. Compromise is a very important aspect of a love relationship... It is important to be yourself, only then can you enjoy. It is again important to know your partner well and be accommodating at most times...

Many times women in a relationship stop talking to their long time male friends in fear of partner not trusting her. It become tough for her as she loses someone whom she genuinely enjoyed talking to and had a clean relationship... If you love going to parties, and your partner hates it, you need not be submissive and not go for it. Instead, talk to each other... When in love there is a tendency of doing a lot of things for the other person, in the process one forgets one’s self. That is a real issue and you will not be absolutely happy forgetting yourself. If someone likes you, it is for what you are; so DON’T CHANGE YOURSELF.

Love yourself first. Only then can you love someone else wholeheartedly... Communication can make or break a relationship. Talk things out to each other... Don’t lose your identity in the process of loving someone. Be yourself, it surely can make your love life an amazing experience for life.


PLEASE READ THE WHOLE ARTICLE HERE ♥

Thursday, 14 July 2011

Elegy



George O'Hearn: Beautiful women are invisible.

David Kepesh: Invisible? What the hell does that mean? Invisible? They jump out at you. A beautiful woman, she stands out. She stands apart. You can't miss her.

George O'Hearn: But we never actually see the person. We see the beautiful shell. We're blocked by the beauty barrier. Yeah, we're so dazzled by the outside that we never make it inside.

Monday, 11 July 2011

He Was A Quiet Man (Favorite Scene)



Bob: I'm not the one who has a problem. I don't need any help. *panting* Do I?
Vanessa: Bob, everybody needs help sometimes. There's nothing wrong with that. Look at me. Without you, I'd either be hopeless or dead.

****

Vanessa: So you have a problem, so what? I'm gonna help you through this. You just need the courage to do the right thing.
Bob: What is the right thing?
Vanessa: To do what's in your heart. And you need the courage to face that.
Bob: It's easier to find when I'm with you.
Vanessa: And if you feel it's slipping away, just look into my eyes and it'll be right there.

****



This scene happened during a fight between Bob and Vanessa. He asked her if she loves him and she couldn't answer saying that love is so foreign to her. He was devastated and was already leaving when she shouted these words.

And then I remembered Ken. And our fights. How walking out seemed easier than staying and trying to fix the problem right then and there. Ugh. Upon watching this scene and hearing these words, I reminded myself to try to settle misunderstandings on the spot, when we’re still together. Easier said than done, right. That’s why I’ll try. ‘Cause it’s harder to leave important things unsaid.

****

Here is the trailer of the movie He Was A Quiet Man, btw: ★★★

Saturday, 9 July 2011

Franz

Last night I dreamed about you. What happened in detail I can hardly remember, all I know is that we kept merging into one another. I was you, you were me. Finally you somehow caught fire.

— Franz Kafka to Milena Jesenska, 1921 (source)

I write differently from what I speak, I speak differently from what I think, I think differently from the way I ought to think, and so it all proceeds into deepest darkness.

You do not need to leave your room. Remain sitting at your table and listen. Do not even listen, simply wait, be quiet, still and solitary. The world will freely offer itself to you to be unmasked, it has no choice, it will roll in ecstasy at your feet.

Don't bend; don't water it down; don't try to make it logical; don't edit your own soul according to the fashion. Rather, follow your most intense obsessions mercilessly.

We need the books that affect us like a disaster, that grieve us deeply, like the death of someone we loved more than ourselves, like being banished into forests far from everyone, like a suicide. A book must be the axe for the frozen sea inside us.

If the book we are reading does not wake us, as with a fist hammering on our skull, why then do we read it? A book must be an ice-axe to break the sea frozen inside us.

SOURCE

Thursday, 7 July 2011

Sexciting

I just wanna emphasize how much I love these parts in a woman’s body.
Semi-Nude Photos Alert!










I guess I do have Lesbian tendencies nga. Haha! Nah. I just want those parts on me. Haha. And I swear I'm working on it. Ooohh. Why is it so hard to exercise but so damn easy to eat every food I see?! Grabe lang.


(The photos are not mine! Just got it from Tumblr)

Closer: Where is this love?



Alice: I would have loved you… forever. Now, please go.
Dan: Don’t do this, Alice. Please, talk to me.
Alice: I am talking. Fuck off.
Dan: I’m sorry. You misunderstand! I didn’t mean to.
Alice: Yes you did.
Dan: I love you!
Alice: Show me! Where is this love? I can’t see it, I can’t touch it. I can’t feel it. I can hear it. I can hear some words, but I can’t do anything with your easy words. Whatever you say is too late.

(From the wonderful movie CLOSER)

Dress Up

I love these dresses so much, they just have to be here.

Halston cocktail dress ca. 1980 via the Indianapolis Museum of Art



‘You can wear black at any time. You can wear black at any age. You may wear it on almost any occasion. A little black frock is essential to a woman.’
— Christian Dior

Alexander McQueen “Widows of Culloden” dress ca. 2006



Evening dress from auction | c. 1950s



‘One is never over-dressed or underdressed with a Little Black Dress’
— Karl Lagerfeld

You can see more on this blog: MORBID FASHION

Hello, Baguio?

Because I really need to let my feelings out na…

Well, it’s been a long time since I’ve spoken of Baguio City and my dire need to go up there na and see and be with my Baguio friends. Earlier today, when we were sitting by the Sunken Garden at UP, I looked up in the heavens and wondered what I would be doing if I were still in Baguio. (I am so sorry Ken for being not there with you in that few moments…) I guess it suddenly popped in my mind because before that, we were walking along the academic oval and I missed my long walks along Session Road. Nostalgia’s a bitch and it hit me on the head just like that, without any warning.

So, I was sitting there with my loving boyfriend and then I just wondered what April and/or my brods and sisses were doing at the moment. I wondered if JoDeRa still spends their free time on the tambayan at the lobby. I wondered if April was with her lover cruising along Session Road and if Kat’s just at home, listening to her emo playlist (I love you, Kat :P)…

I remember that there is an upcoming event on Sunday involving my beloved friends and I really don’t want to miss that. If I only had money and I didn’t need to ask my parents for it, I would already be a hundred percent sure that I’ll be there. Oh, God… Please heed my prayers. I hope that when I wake up tomorrow there’d be more than enough money for the much-desired Baguio trip under my pillow. Or should I be asking the tooth fairy? Haha. Kidding. I just really, really, really want to visit Baguio again. I miss my friends there and I am so sure they miss me, too.

My most recent Baguio trip will be exactly a year ago on July 10. I left manila on July 09, 2010 and then I arrived there at midnight. Stayed there until July 17… Whew. I missed my sister’s birthday (July 15) because of that. And I’m not so apologetic to say that I don’t regret that... (Hi, Mitzi! :D) Heehee.

See! It’s almost a year since I was there. That’s why I really want to go there this weekend. I kinda have some plans na on making that dream come true. I just really, really wish it would work… *crossesfingers*

I am now accepting monetary donations, btw :D Just PM me! ;) Hep! Just kidding!


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Wednesday, 6 July 2011

0706 Thoughts

I’m not mean. I’m just me.

****

If someone did me wrong, I swear I’ll make that person regret it. I forgive, but I never forget. It’s not safe to say that I get even because I don’t always have the capability to do that. I kill them with kindness. I make them regret what they did by showing them I don’t deserve any of it.

****

I could only ask you to do something for me for a specific time. I know my limitations. So, if you’re not willing and I don’t want to persuade you anymore, then you can forget about it. But when I start putting on a frown, a nagtatampo face, and an okay-fine-whatever attitude, don’t start to enamour me because I can’t promise you that would work. We’d just both be in a bad mood.

****

I know I can’t get everything I want. But that doesn’t mean I’d stop wanting them.

****

I'm not mean. I'm just me.

Sunday, 3 July 2011

Smile!

I wanted to share here what we did during the last week of June 2011 but I rather keep it between us. It’s not that it’s too personal. I just don’t want other people fantasizing about my guy and to start envying me. Chos. Haha. I am really lucky that I have someone so wonderful fall in love with me. Uh-huh. And I’ll always be thankful I met him and have him in my life for as long as we both shall live. Yeah, rock on! :P

So instead of boring you with last week’s sexy details, I just made this collage through Smilebox. And as you can see, it showcases our happy and sweet moments together.

Click to play this Smilebox collage
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♥ Ang amateurish nga lang. Hehe. And... Yeah, I'm cheesy like that. Hahaha.
Oooohh. I just can’t imagine life without this amazing human being... And I am so glad I don't have to.

KStew In Black



I love Kristen Jaymes Stewart so much, I just feel like putting this image here. Those legs are to-die-for!

Toblerone Notes

On March 23 2011, I joined this Love Notes contest on Facebook sponsored by Toblerone. Participants were to write phrases or short sentences with a maximum of 330 characters that would start with the letters of TOBLERONE, respectively.

Though I didn’t win, I like the note that I did. And this was the first time I ever joined an online contest. Wee! So without further ado, this was my one and only entry:

T - ake me to a place we can call our own
O - ut of this world to make our dreams come to life
B - ound by our love, nothing can set us apart
L - isten as my heart beats out your name
E - ach memory we make will let us live through another lifetime
R - emind yourself of my undying love
O - nly you can save me
N - ever doubt all I say
E - verything I do, I do only for you

I love Toblerone! Chocolates… I was hoping they’d give me one-year supply of their goodies if ever I won. Yeah, that was all I was after.

But of course, the boyfriend is and always will be the inspiration to every creative thing I do. Kisses :* :*

Saturday, 2 July 2011

Looklet

There’s this website called LOOKLET where users and visitors can be stylists for their own sake. It’s specially designed for fashion enthusiasts. You can choose your own models and then there’s this column beside it where the clothes and other fashion accessories are itemized. I found out about it on Tumblr (I learn a lot through Tumblr, grabe) and then I started to become addicted to it, to the point that my eyes will start to hurt already and I’ll lose sleep. Just kidding, I don’t spend my nights styling their models. Hehe.

Anyway. You might want to check out their page HERE. And then you might as well check MY PAGE and then add me up! :D It’s as easy as one-two-three.

I joined Looklet on April 17, 2011. And so far, I have created 6o looks. Here are the samples: