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Friday, 12 August 2011

In Deep Shit

I didn’t think it’d be this hard to get my life back on track. I can’t seem to pull my shit together.

I’ve been through a point where I almost lost everything I valued, everything I wanted, the things I wanted to keep -- or thought I wanted to keep…

I’ve fallen, got up, lifted my chin, and looked straight ahead…
Somehow, I still can’t find my way back. Back where? I'm not even sure where.

It’s so hard; I really don’t know where I’m going.
I’m losing my mind.

I’m expecting a lot from myself that all the people around me are starting to be negatively affected and strained.

Sure, I want more…
But I only want more from no one else but me. I could and would never ask anyone else for something more than what s/he can actually give.

I guess it’s true what they say. That
Only you can make you happy. You choose to be.
Simply be happy.

Which is so goddamn hard, you’d just keep on being sad.

I could never fully satisfy myself. And it always leaves me wanting more.

I feel the need to constantly change my environment,
But I fail to change even a bit about me.

I sorta wanted to control the whole world. Because. But. Unfortunately.
I just couldn’t control myself.

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