It was as if the world stopped for a second when she realized what it was. It was when he bent forward a little and gave her a kiss that that particular smell sashayed through her nostrils. It was a faint hint of cigarette smoke that she dreaded among any other scents in the world.
She wouldn’t have been taken aback if only they haven’t talked about the issue a thousand times already. That habit has already heated a lot of arguments between them and should have been kicked out of the range completely. Is she asking too much? Was it too hard to accomplish? In that split second, a few number of pillars of trust that she built collapsed instantly.
After hearing out all her pet demons inside her, hearing them scream out their stands regarding the real issue that was there in the open, she just ignored them. Pretended that it doesn’t bother her. It shouldn’t anymore, right? She closed her eyes and chose to believe in something that wasn’t really there. She loves him so much, that’s why believing in the impossible is somewhat part of the whole loving plan. Therefore, she just smiled. She smiled at him and made herself focus into something else. Something less… important.
It was only later that day when she thought about what really happened inside her, the actual event that was instantly covered by the lingering smile she decided to show instead. She made her demons stand in court and voice all their troubles away. What occurred isn’t really good, mind you. They were all negative. They choose not to be caressed by words that are meant to comfort but are actually insincere.
It was like in every puff, every burnt part of that cigarette signifies her trust. Slowly diminishing every time. Every time “want” takes over “principles,” selfishness weighs more than being trusted, and a few seconds of escape wins over making your girlfriend happy, something is being taken away from both parties. Something that wouldn’t be restored no matter how hard one tries.
Yes, smoking kills. It was said that in every stick you suck, your life span decreases by a few minutes, I think… In the same way that it kills… Relationships.