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Wednesday, 28 March 2012

The Question

by Pablo Neruda

Love, a question
has destroyed you.

I have come back to you
from thorny uncertainty.

I want you straight as
the sword or the road.

But you insist
on keeping a nook
of shadow that I do not want.

My love,
understand me,
I love all of you,
from eyes to feet, to toenails,
inside,
all the brightness, which you kept.

It is I, my love,
who knocks at your door.
It is not the ghost, it is not
the one who once stopped
at your window.
I knock down the door:
I enter your life:
I come to live in your soul:
you cannot cope with me.

You must open door to door,
you must obey me,
you must open your eyes
so that I may search in them,
you must see how I walk
with heavy steps
along all the roads
that, blind, were waiting for me.

Do not fear,
I am yours,
but
I am not the passenger or the beggar,
I am your master,
the one you were waiting for,
and now I enter
your life,
no more to leave it,
love, love, love,
but to stay.

Monday, 26 March 2012

Untitled

We were holding hands a while ago. I don’t exactly know how many minutes have passed but we’re barely looking at each other now. I imagine us miles apart when only a few threads are separating me from you, really.

Have we gone mad?

****

I hate it that other people’s fucked up opinion matters and how it affects me.

****

“If you’re a bird, I’m a bird.”

“So it’s not gonna be easy. It’s gonna be really hard. And we’re gonna have to work at this every day, but I want to do that, because I want you. I want all of you, forever, you and me, every day.”

I now spend most of my waking life with you. There’s no hint of regret or complain there, mind you. I enjoy every second holding your hand and/or looking into your eyes. The way you smile and laugh is contagious. I’d give anything in the world to keep you exercising your facial muscles like that with me. Seeing you happy makes me happy.

Saturday, 24 March 2012

Ang Banidoso at ang Imahen

Ang Banidoso at ang Imahen
ni Joseph Casimiro

Ikaw ang akong humaharap sa ako.
Ako ang ikaw na humahanap sa tayo.
Ako at ikaw, ang tayo.
Tayo ang naghahanap sa ako.

**

I tried looking for the author on Facebook so I could ask his permission to post this here, but I have no idea who he is among the three that popped up. I googled him as well and sent an email but I haven't received any reply yet. I just really like this piece. And badly want to share it. Haay. Forgive me.

I got this from Heights Vol. LVI No. 3, the Guilty Pleasures Issue.

Wednesday, 7 March 2012

What If?

What if when I look at you, I don’t see you but see me instead?
What if through you, I see my beauty and monstrosity that is reflected in your eyes?
What if it’s just me that matters, and not even a strand of your hair?

What if when I look at you, I don’t see you but see me instead?
What if I love what I see in you, that is me, and not you?

Hate Me

What’s not to like? Well, recently I’m starting to think na marami. I used to think highly of myself even if I’m really kind of nothing or no one right now. I haven’t even done anything significant with my life especially regarding the people around me. I don’t feel alive, really. And that’s exactly why I haven’t posted anything noteworthy here recently. Wala ng nagyayare sa buhay ko. Ang stagnant. At ang tagal ng walang happening. Grabe lang. Pati maka pagblog post, pahirapan. I end up staring at a blank page even after a few hours. What the hell, diba. I feel so exhausted. I don’t wanna do anything about my life but complain. Now, why am I even sharing these things when they make me seem boring? Haay. Magdadalawang taon na kong ganito. Utang na loob.

I have all these ideas in my head but when it’s time to actually share them, write about them, or rather type them, they just vanish like a goddamn bubble. Writer’s block ba? O natatanga na talaga ko. Kakapanuod ata to ng mga teleseryeng out of this world, wala naman talagang message na hindi pa natin alam, nanguuto lang, at sinasayang oras natin. Haay. I wonder why I enjoy some of them though. Lol. Ayun nga, natatanga na kasi. Chos. At oha, di na ko makagawa ng paragraph na straight English. Nakakawalang gana lang talaga, grabe.

This post is turning out to be a cry for help. I’m not that pathetic pa naman… :( At least I think I’m not… yet. Hey, sabi nga ni Adam Levine, I’m not falling apart!

Anyway…

I started this post with a question; what’s not to like (about me, of course)? I really wanna answer that immediately. I feel like a lot of people hate me right now. And I don’t understand why since I know I’m such a lovely person and that if I were not me, I’d still want to be friends with me. O diba. Pero yun na yun eh. Yun na sagot sa tanong ko. Hehe. I’m such a conceited dumbass who doesn’t think much of other people. (WEH!) May natatapakan na pala ko, hindi pa ko aware. Parang ewan lang.  

I’m not just that, though. That’s just part of the package. I’m not actually an evil person who smirks at other people just for the sake of smirking. Hindi naman ako mababaw, believe it or not.     

I used to think na I’m allowed to say, blog, or tweet whatever I want to since this a free country. Well… It is. I know a lot of people don’t really care about what I have to say so that encouraged me more to go on blabbing about whatever that pops out of my mind. No one’s really paying attention. It’s just that when they do, they notice those that are actually negative. So in the end, ikaw pa yung masama or nakakatawa.

What the hell am I even talking about?! I’m not sure, really… I guess I just wanna say that we have no right to judge people by how we see them. I’m not saying I don’t judge a book by its cover. I do, sometimes… I believe that first impressions last. But it shouldn’t stop there. Looks can be deceiving. Intuition matters. And/But/Or. Why determine the personality of a person when you haven’t even talked to them for more than 10 minutes? Don’t base assumptions only on what we read, hear, or think of others. We gotta give them chance to prove themselves.

Haaay, Notes To Self? Anyway, I still have a lot to say but my head won’t let me. I can’t organize my thoughts. I feel deranged. Ang saklap ng buhay ko. Ang lungkot.

Thursday, 1 March 2012

Strange Little Girl

She seems so cool, so focused, so quiet, yet her eyes remain fixed upon the horizon.

You think you know all there is to know about her immediately upon meeting her, but everything you think you know is wrong. Passion flows through her like a river of blood.

She only looked away for a moment, and the mask slipped, and you fell. All your tomorrows start here.

****

“She is not waiting, not quite. It is more that the years mean nothing to her any more, that the dreams and the street cannot touch her.

She remains on the edges of time; implacable, unhurt, beyond, and one day you will open your eyes and see her, and after that, the dark.

It is not a reaping. Instead, she will pluck you, gently, like a feather, or a flower for her hair.”