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Wednesday, 7 March 2012

Hate Me

What’s not to like? Well, recently I’m starting to think na marami. I used to think highly of myself even if I’m really kind of nothing or no one right now. I haven’t even done anything significant with my life especially regarding the people around me. I don’t feel alive, really. And that’s exactly why I haven’t posted anything noteworthy here recently. Wala ng nagyayare sa buhay ko. Ang stagnant. At ang tagal ng walang happening. Grabe lang. Pati maka pagblog post, pahirapan. I end up staring at a blank page even after a few hours. What the hell, diba. I feel so exhausted. I don’t wanna do anything about my life but complain. Now, why am I even sharing these things when they make me seem boring? Haay. Magdadalawang taon na kong ganito. Utang na loob.

I have all these ideas in my head but when it’s time to actually share them, write about them, or rather type them, they just vanish like a goddamn bubble. Writer’s block ba? O natatanga na talaga ko. Kakapanuod ata to ng mga teleseryeng out of this world, wala naman talagang message na hindi pa natin alam, nanguuto lang, at sinasayang oras natin. Haay. I wonder why I enjoy some of them though. Lol. Ayun nga, natatanga na kasi. Chos. At oha, di na ko makagawa ng paragraph na straight English. Nakakawalang gana lang talaga, grabe.

This post is turning out to be a cry for help. I’m not that pathetic pa naman… :( At least I think I’m not… yet. Hey, sabi nga ni Adam Levine, I’m not falling apart!

Anyway…

I started this post with a question; what’s not to like (about me, of course)? I really wanna answer that immediately. I feel like a lot of people hate me right now. And I don’t understand why since I know I’m such a lovely person and that if I were not me, I’d still want to be friends with me. O diba. Pero yun na yun eh. Yun na sagot sa tanong ko. Hehe. I’m such a conceited dumbass who doesn’t think much of other people. (WEH!) May natatapakan na pala ko, hindi pa ko aware. Parang ewan lang.  

I’m not just that, though. That’s just part of the package. I’m not actually an evil person who smirks at other people just for the sake of smirking. Hindi naman ako mababaw, believe it or not.     

I used to think na I’m allowed to say, blog, or tweet whatever I want to since this a free country. Well… It is. I know a lot of people don’t really care about what I have to say so that encouraged me more to go on blabbing about whatever that pops out of my mind. No one’s really paying attention. It’s just that when they do, they notice those that are actually negative. So in the end, ikaw pa yung masama or nakakatawa.

What the hell am I even talking about?! I’m not sure, really… I guess I just wanna say that we have no right to judge people by how we see them. I’m not saying I don’t judge a book by its cover. I do, sometimes… I believe that first impressions last. But it shouldn’t stop there. Looks can be deceiving. Intuition matters. And/But/Or. Why determine the personality of a person when you haven’t even talked to them for more than 10 minutes? Don’t base assumptions only on what we read, hear, or think of others. We gotta give them chance to prove themselves.

Haaay, Notes To Self? Anyway, I still have a lot to say but my head won’t let me. I can’t organize my thoughts. I feel deranged. Ang saklap ng buhay ko. Ang lungkot.

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