May is my sexy boyfriend’s birthday month and believe me, it was an insane roller coaster ride! Not that we went to EK or somewhere else. It’s just that whenever we’re together, some parts of us always, always collides in all possible directions. We can’t seem to merge our individual thoughts and feelings (I mean, who can?) so we always disagree on one too many things about our own mundane life, the relationship we share, and about this cold world of course.
It’s also our 20th month together. We almost broke up twice this month for chrissake. Ooh, the irony... Good thing though that he can never ever resist
sexy body me. Hihi. But! I would never let him go that easy, anyway. I won’t. I
don’t want to. Never.
Compromise. Ken taught me that this word is one of the most important factors in keeping a relationship whole. I know deep in my heart that I already know this, so compromising wouldn’t be a huge deal since we’d always want the things that would make each other happy.
Being happy with the person I love is one of my top priorities (if not the ONLY one). But of course he has to be happy with me, too. When he’s happy, I’m happy. I just can’t understand how he can be happy hanging out with other people without me. I know, I know… I sound crazy, possessive, obsessive, and super dependent. But who cares? I know how to make my lover happy and no one could tell me otherwise. I know I’m the only one he needs and I pride myself in that, really. I need him so much, too! And I have no shame in saying that... *awkward pause* Plus I’m a psycho girlfriend and he’s all mine. So screw you.
Wow, I sure have a lot of issues to deal with. Anyway…
After all our months together, I learned a lot of things.
And might enumerate them soon. Or not. Probably on our second anniversary! No, I don’t think we’d ever ever break up. Never. We’re seriously, honestly, head-over-heels in love with each other, you must be blind not to see that. We might not have a lot of pictures showing us kissing, cuddling, or ogling at each other, but they’re just pictures. And a picture paints a thousand words. Actors can look so in love in pictures without having any romantic relationship whatsoever. ‘Nuff said.
So I learned a lot of things by staying (in love) with the love of my life. And the fact that compromise can’t always be easily executed is one of them. I thought it would be easy. I thought we’d always want the same things. But we don’t. I doubt we’d always want ALL of what the other person wants. Sometimes it’s not just possible. You’d ALWAYS have something in common, though. And that will make your relationship stronger if you use it properly.
Sometimes even if you have the will to do something for your partner, the whole universe just won’t allow you to. There will always have a lot of obstacles in the way. Be it your parents, some other event, money, etc… But the most important thing is that you hold on with each other. You should face your battles together. You can only be either heroes or villains. In whatever case though, you should always fight beside your loved one and not against them.
No matter how much you disagree on some things, a more powerful force will keep you intact. Believe it or not, it’s called Love.
I almost made up my mind that whatever you do, Love isn’t always enough. I know I’ve heard/read it somewhere but since I don’t just believe in anything I hear/read, I know I have to experience it firsthand. And I did. That’s why I thought that it was true. I almost gave up the person I love and imagined what my miserable life would be without him…
But then I realized that I know this person. He’s the only one who knows me so well. He’s basically the reason I get up in the morning and sleep with a stupid-looking smile on my face every night. I love him so much that words or worlds could never amount to how much. My all-knowing-self assured me that we’re meant to spend the rest of our lives together and I can’t just let it slip away just because I was having a bad day, PMS-ing, or just too stupid to care or talk to anyone.
Love is enough. I can make it enough for the both of us, I will. I have so much love inside me. I feel inspiration in its most divine form flowing through my veins. I feel so much love for this person. And even if I don't show it sometimes, I could never let him go. Even if I feel like I have to move on with my life, I could never leave him behind. He’s my life. I love him so much.
Love is everything we’ll ever want it to be. It destroys or creates. But it’s really up to us to determine the outcome. We just need that one person to stand by us no matter what… Someone who’d whisper in our ears how much they want to spend forever in our arms, lost in our kisses…
Someone like… My sweet, loving boyfriend. But I already told you guys, he’s MINE. So go look for your own. Shoo!
As much as we have a lot of fucking miscommunications and stupid disagreements during this month of mayhem, it would never compare to all the happy moments Ken and I shared. To be honest, during the first week of this month, in the middle of a huge fight, I thought I’d die right there and then. I just can’t lose the guy!
I’m so glad I didn’t. We kissed and made-up big time; fighting’s all part of the past. And even if we can’t really avoid that, I feel more secure about us right now. I trust him more (despite the occasional doubts). And I realized that he’s not perfect but so am I. I also promised him a lot of things and assured him about some issues but I’d just keep it from here. I just really really hope he believes me. I have too much faith in US. We just need to loosen up and enjoy life more. TOGETHER, duh. He's my happily ever after.
And come what may, I’d always be his greatest love. I still am. I’ll always be. See, confidence goes a long way, too. I also know that’s one of the reasons he finds me sexy. Haha!
That’s all for now. Anyway, there’ll be so many posts to come… ;)