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Friday, 5 December 2014

Series of Unfortunate/Regrettable Events

This year’s Series of Unfortunate/Regrettable Events (or just plain stupidity and/or carelessness)
* also, these are all I can remember right now.

1. Tried online shopping and the products do not meet my standards. I bought a “Zara” Christmas dress for Kaela and a diaper bag. There are loose threads everywhere and the products online do not look close to real life; they look cheap. I thought I’d be happy with this site since I know the seller. I can’t even complain because of that. I don’t think I’d ever buy anything again from them. Although in fairness, I kinda liked the pink and black zebra bag. Smile!

2. I am fond of my sister’s Forever 21 black leggings. I wore her size Small pair a lot of times already even if it’s too tight and it showcases my big butt (although that’s probably why I like wearing it, hehe). I feel like it sucks up my flabby thighs, making them look firm. But since it feels too small for me, I thought of buying the Medium one. Which I did… And I’ve never been so wrong.

I did try fitting it out before paying for it. I even told my partner in crime that it feels so comfortable; I wanna wear it for the rest of that day. However, when I wore it to the office the next day, that’s only when I noticed how loose it was in some areas and that it doesn’t look so flattering, I wanna exchange it for the small one. Huhu. I thought of having it repaired but the material feels so perfect, I didn’t wanna murder it so it could fit me. Sigh. I thought about leaving the leggings as is. I’m pretty sure I’d still be able to use it anyhow. I just feel bad I didn’t try on the smaller size. Maybe it would fit better than my sister’s since the material is of better quality. At least I know what to buy next time. Size S!

3. Kaela’s 1st birthday party! Although it was an overall success, I don’t feel like I gave it my all. It could’ve been much more beautiful and fun. I bought a lot of decorations that we weren’t able to use because we ran out of time for the preparation. I also paid for 80pax but only 50 of the invited guests arrived. It broke my heart. I could’ve invited more friends. See, I have a lot of friends. Char. It feels so sayang. Ang daming natirang pagkain. Although the food wasn’t wasted, sana nakatipid pa ko if I only paid for 60 people. Tst tsk. At least I learned a lesson. Hey, it was my first time throwing a birthday party.

Although no one is actually complaining, I want to redeem myself. I know I could’ve thrown a better and more successful party. I kinda want Kaela to turn 2 already so I can make that more fun party happen. Haha. Kidding. But really, I wasn’t satisfied with myself. I was even having a bad hair day that time. Grabe lang. Stressed much.



I might be missing the point though. In spite of my shortcomings, I know what’s important is that we got to celebrate our daughter’s first birthday. YAY!!!! And even if I don’t think it turned out the best first birthday ever, it was super okay. Haha. And I appreciate and love Kaela for all that she is. ♥

Tuesday, 4 November 2014

Excuses

This year was amazing. I haven’t written anything personal since September 2013 (I think). And it’s not because my life has been uneventful or utterly boring.
On the contrary, I’ve been super busy that sitting down and letting words flow from my brain to my hands is such a time-consuming task. I just didn’t have time for it.


But wait. Before this year ends, I vow to share every wonderful thing I’ve experienced. Not because you want to hear about it… Hehe. But because I think I should go back to writing. And I really need to calm my mind down. The memories, regrets, the good and bad thoughts, etc… They’re all still here.

Friday, 26 September 2014

Like a Fool

I feel betrayed knowing that the only person I opened up myself to doesn’t really know who I am. I poured everything out to him. Cried my soul dead. Gave him a bite of my bitterest piece of cake (lol). Let him touch me in my most vulnerable state. Made myself believe that he’s gonna be my last. Let him plant inside me this insane idea that we’re gonna be together for the rest of our lives. Me and him. Together forever. Just imagine the absurdity of that. Ugh.

Monday, 19 May 2014

Missing Lola

Last night I dreamed of my late grandmom from my father’s side. We used to (we still do) fondly call her Lola Inay. And/or Inay. For some weird reason we were at a hospital. There was this some kind of game we were forced to play. Before we even sat down on our desired chairs/places, they already put something under them. The person who got this so and so drawing wins. Turns out I was the lucky one. I cannot remember the exact illustration from the card under my chair but it was somehow resembling a dragon of some sort whatever. I went to the front to claim my prize money.I don’t know what exactly happened after that but next thing I know, I was looking for my grandmother. Since it was a hospital, I asked about her on the reception desk, the emergency room, etc. I even asked the nurses and custodial workers I bumped into. I was already panicking, I was about to check all the rooms to look for her. I imagined her running away from me. It was sad and it made me desperate.

I woke up realizing how much I miss my grandmother. It was kinda creepy, thinking that it was some sort of sign that she wants to take me already… to heaven! Or to the other side. Or wherever she is right now. Which, I like to think, is in heaven. In a paradise. Somewhere peaceful… where she’s happy.

It’s sad. I miss her. I feel like I wasn’t able to spend more valuable, quality time with her. I feel like I took her for granted while she was still with us. *SIGH*


I love my grandmother. We have the same name.

Friday, 16 May 2014

Dream: 05.16.14

I was riding a cab. I was hesitant to trust the driver because he scares me. He looked like someone capable of doing bad things. I was super worried I unlocked the door; ready to jump out if he did anything funny. We passed by a girl and we slowed down because they know each other. The girl seemed to trust him so I relaxed a little. We were approaching a tunnel and parts of it were falling down so I was pretty scared. The driver went out to assure me nothing bad will happen. Just a few moments later the ground started to rumble and a landslide was happening. There was someone else in the tunnel; a boy about my age. We both ran for the opening and made it out alive. I felt bad for the driver I wasn’t capable of trusting.

Wednesday, 7 May 2014

I CAN'T BELIEVE I'M BACK!!!!

I tried blogging on Wordpress earlier this year but it's really hard to customize the theme and work on your own design so I decided to go back here on Blogger. Yay! I'm kinda confident I will be happier here. Hihi.


So...

Sunday, 12 January 2014

#babaw

Woke up with the two love of my life. Ken and Kaela. Ordered KFC. Ate a lot. Enjoyed the Brownies. Yay! Made landi with Ken. And we both enjoyed spending time with our wonderful daughter. <3 I regret the bad things I told Ken the other night. Who was I kidding. I love the man so very much no matter how much he doesn't understand me and even if we rarely see each other eye to eye, metaphorically speaking. Haayy. He even took advantage of me yesterday! And I enjoyed every minute of it. Hehe.
It was a good day. More than I could dream of, I guess. Since I got to be with the people I love and cherish. Not everyone could have that. Hihi.
We had pizza from Yellowcab and Jollibee chickenjoy for dinner. Weewoo!

X Knocked Up

Wondered what my life would be like if I didn't get pregnant and give birth. What would my weekend feel like.. Maybe. Just maybe. I would be outside with my friends, wasting money I'd get from working. But then I thought about my work on HRDO and how much I was bored from working. I'd probably quit working there even if I didn't pregnant. My weekends would just be like now. Staying at home, hanging out with Ken.
I realized... This situation is where I am supposed to be. Whatever happened was meant to happen. And wouldn't have it any other way. Even if I miss being free and being able to do whatever I want and go wherever I go anytime, I know in my heart I would never ever trade Kaela for those things. She's the greatest. And I'm meant to have her, love her and take care for her. Together we'd face life's pleasures. And then nothing else would be more beautiful and satisfying than that.