Monday, 19 May 2014

Missing Lola

Last night I dreamed of my late grandmom from my father’s side. We used to (we still do) fondly call her Lola Inay. And/or Inay. For some weird reason we were at a hospital. There was this some kind of game we were forced to play. Before we even sat down on our desired chairs/places, they already put something under them. The person who got this so and so drawing wins. Turns out I was the lucky one. I cannot remember the exact illustration from the card under my chair but it was somehow resembling a dragon of some sort whatever. I went to the front to claim my prize money.I don’t know what exactly happened after that but next thing I know, I was looking for my grandmother. Since it was a hospital, I asked about her on the reception desk, the emergency room, etc. I even asked the nurses and custodial workers I bumped into. I was already panicking, I was about to check all the rooms to look for her. I imagined her running away from me. It was sad and it made me desperate.

I woke up realizing how much I miss my grandmother. It was kinda creepy, thinking that it was some sort of sign that she wants to take me already… to heaven! Or to the other side. Or wherever she is right now. Which, I like to think, is in heaven. In a paradise. Somewhere peaceful… where she’s happy.

It’s sad. I miss her. I feel like I wasn’t able to spend more valuable, quality time with her. I feel like I took her for granted while she was still with us. *SIGH*

I love my grandmother. We have the same name.

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