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Thursday, 22 January 2015

Untitled

I’m lonely. I’m almost always sad. Submerged in some kind of depression fog. I don’t know how to be contented with what I have. I’m always asking for more. I don’t know how to satisfy myself (and I’m not even talking about sex. Lol.) There’s a part of me that’s always yearning for something else. Something I have no idea about. So I don’t even know what to do about this longing. I feel empty sometimes. Though I always try to convince myself I actually have what I need to be happy. I’m just not happy. I’m blabbing. Anyway. I really don’t know what I’m lacking. I probably just don’t love myself. Or maybe it’s because of the sad movies I watch. I always identify myself with the heroines. Sigh. Or. Maybe. I just don’t have THE love I’ve always wanted and dreamt of. Maybe I’m being too hard on my partner, asking a lot of stuff and whatever. Or maybe I feel like he doesn’t love me anymore. He has this history of not always attending to my needs wholeheartedly. Or like what I said earlier, maybe I’m just being too hard on him. Maybe I’m thinking I deserve more when clearly I don’t even deserve what I have right now. Fuck. Really, screw this. Maybe I don’t really know how to love… Anyone. Or anything.